Don't Stop Believin'!!!!!

I am still in shock here.  I just learned that Steve Perry, singer of 80's band, Journey, had melanoma removed recently.  He has had 2 surgeries to remove it, and they have told him that he shows no evidence of melanoma. 

Here is the link to his recent blog. 

"Don't Stop Believing" has always been a favorite song of mine.  It took on new meaning after my diagnosis of melanoma.  It has become an anthem for all of us fighting the melanoma beast. It is very surreal to me that Steve had his own encounter with melanoma. 

Best wishes to Steve on his recovery and my heart goes out to him for the loss of his beloved Kellie. 

Recent photo with former VJ Martha Quinn from Mtv

Don't Stop Believin'!!!!!!!

Busy Living

I have not posted in so long!  I have totally missed all of Melanoma Awareness Month, which is celebrated in May.  I also missed posting about Melanoma Monday.  The first Monday is May is dedicated to Melanoma Awareness.  I wore black almost every day and I spread as much awareness as I could.

I have not been posting very much lately because I have been very busy.  Busy living.  Something so easy, but something that I hadn't really been doing.

When I hit my 2 year cancerversary in April,  I realized that on my first cancerversary, I was so happy to make the one year and I wanted to scream it from the roof tops, along with "Wear sunscreen!"  "Don't tan!"  and "Protect your skin!"  I also wanted to celebrate BIG and we did.  I was fighting melanoma the only way I knew how.  By spending hours researching and educating.  I wanted everyone to know how bad melanoma is.  My world revolved around melanoma.  I was scared of it coming back.  I didn't want it to happen to anyone else.

As my 2 year cancerversary approached, I realized that I had changed.  I had seen and experienced some very painful losses and I had grown in many ways.  My family wanted to know what I wanted to do to celebrate.  I wanted something simple.  To spend a quiet night with them.  They got me a cute cake and we spent the best evening together.  I was celebrating just being alive, by living.

I realized that with everything that I had been doing to raise awareness, I was really forgetting the most important thing.  To live my life I was so blessed to have.   I was so busy working all day and night and in any free time (haha), I was educating about melanoma.  My kids were growing before my eyes and I was a little preoccupied.  My family had really jumped on board too and were also educating and were very proud to tell me what they had done to do so.  It had consumed me in the beginning, and slowly over the next 2 years, I relaxed a little and I started becoming a part of my life again. 

Losing my dear friend, Brianna, and before her, Jillian, made me realize how precious life it.  And that melanoma really does suck.  All Brianna ever did was live her life.  She didn't spend hours dwelling on her diagnosis.  She just lived her life and fought.  She never let melanoma control her.  She always had such a positive attitude and a huge smile.  If you asked her about her melanoma, she would respond with, "Oh it is just a stupid tumor.  No biggie."  Her nickname was Breezy, and it suited her. Jillian, I imagine just wanted to be a normal girl.  She tried not to be the girl with melanoma.  She lived her life to the fullest, even though there were laced with doctor appointments.  

I looked at my kids and realized how precious every single moment we have together really is. Once it is gone, you can't get it back.  I had not been spending enough time with them.  I had always spent time with them.  They are the most important people in my world.  They need me.  (They are 22 and 18 now.  Adults, technically, but still my babies!)  I was a single Mom for years and we were a team.   I had drifted into the world of melanoma and I had stopped living.  I felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of my normal world and had a hard time making decisions after my diagnosis.  My fiance and I hardly spent any time together.  I didn't do anything with friends.   I decided that I needed to make a huge change back to being myself and I have not been happier!  I am their Mom again and it is my first priority.

I also have really spent some quality time on my photography business and it has made a huge difference!  Anyone that knows me, knows that my passion is photography.  When I was diagnosed, I went out and bought my camera I had always wanted, and started my photography business.  I am happy to say that I am devoting more time to my business and it has really paid off!  Some day I want to make it my full time job.  Working hard to make it happen has made me extremely happy!

I am still passionate about melanoma awareness.   I will never stop educating about melanoma and I will never stop sharing my story.  It is definitely something that is very close to my heart.  I have just decided that I need to take a lot more time to live my life. I am still around and I am not planning on leaving.  I just might be a little harder to find. 

Love,

Melissa

2 Year Cancerversary

It has been over 2 years since my diagnosis.  I have spent over 2 years trying to spread awareness of this horrible cancer.  I have seen so much pain and suffering.  I have cried, and I have laughed.  I have changed since my journey began over 2 years ago.  I celebrated quietly with my family (and a cute, yummy, little cake!), my 2 year cancerversary on April 27th. 

I reflected a lot on the last 2 years.  I realized that I have really gone through a lot of changes since I was first diagnosed.  About 3 years ago, I was not indoor tanning, but getting ready for summer to start and that meant laying out on my lounge chair all weekend, "soaking up the rays".  Getting dark was the plan and I knew how to get my tan just right.  I would spend hours laying out.  I would love the feeling and the time I could "get away" and relax.  Funny, I don't miss it at all. 

I have spent the last 2 years trying to figure out how to spread awareness and stop people from doing the very thing that has caused me so much fear, pain and sadness.  I still haven't figured out how to stop people from doing it.  I have witnessed a lot of people continue to do it and not really care what it can do to them.  Some have even said that they don't care if they get it, because at least they will know what they are dying from, or they will look good when they are dead. 

I have seen a lot of ignorance.  I can't change it.  I can only put the info out there and hope that they will learn from it before it is too late for them.  I can keep spreading awareness and one way is by telling my story and the stories of my friends.  I have not passed up an opportunity to share my story, and my photos and I never will.  I still want to help change the world's views on tanning.


So, as I count my blessings at my 2 year mark, I will reflect and I will continue to go forward and spread the word that melanoma is called the beast for a reason.  It has taken my friends from me and I have the fear every day that it will take me away from my family.

Trust me.  It is not a great feeling to know what you may die from.  When you are diagnosed with melanoma, there is so much fear. There is no sure cure.  Cutting it out is painful and leaves scars that run deep.

 But, the emotional scars are much worse.