I woke up and realized that I am still having trouble with my leg. It is swollen even though I have ice on it constantly. It is hard to straighten it out completely, because it is so tight like the skin is going to rip! Great! Another day of laying around, obsessing about my results. So depressing. I am so tired all the time, even after sleeping all night. I hate this. Your mind runs wild with all the possibilities. When you are diagnosed with cancer, your life changes forever. When you are waiting for test results, you feel completely helpless. After talking to Dr. Meanie yesterday, I felt beyond helpless. I felt like my life was completely on hold. I couldn't do anything. I was not being paid to be home either. My work could care less about what I am going through. Only a few of the girls have been in contact with me. My manager didn't send me flowers, even though they send them to everyone for everything. She did send a message though. "We don't care about you." She did call me. To let me know that I needed another excuse to be sent to remain off work. She didn't ask how I was, she wanted to know when I would be back. I don't know what I did to her, but I have a feeling that it is a combination of other people in the office, who I know like to spread crap around and want to be the favorites in the office, and her just being a very non compassionate person in general. I am not a butt kisser. I come to work, on time, and I WORK! I don't gossip with people, slack off, etc. I WORK!! I have a very hard, frustrating job, and I have had little guidance since day 1. My year was right around my surgery time. I wonder if I will be getting a bonus like we are supposed to. Somehow, I doubt it. Plus I am shy and I usually like to figure things out for myself. But, I am a very nice person and have made some friends there. I like almost everyone. There are certain people that I don't care for, but I don't cause problems. Anyway, work is a whole different story for another time.
I decided I would spend my day researching melanoma again, spreading the word, or "spreading the lotion" as I like to call it. I was checking out the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor and was finding out that it was the best place to go in Michigan. I was deep into my researching when my cell phone rang. Probably my fiance. He is so great calling me and checking on me all the time. I hated that he had to go back to work while I was falling apart and so stressed. I was sure I was going to get horrible news and I didn't want to be alone when it happened. It was Dr. Meanie's office. Probably to remind me about my appointment on Monday, I thought. "Hello?" " Melissa? This is Dr.Meanie" ( that's not his real name, it is what I have decided to call him :) "Yes?" " Your path results are in. There is no cells found in the lymph nodes." "Ok. Thank you." Click. I hung up. What?!! I called my fiance at work. I told him and when I said it out loud it hit me. I don't have melanoma!! I don't have to have another surgery! I was so happy! We both cried together. We decided we would be celebrating this victory with a BBQ dinner. Kevin was even going to come home early! Yay!! When I hung up the phone I was so overwhelmed with joy that I cried happy tears. I broke down. It felt so good! Praise God!!! My prayers have been answered! I was going to be ok!! I had so many people to tell! I tried calling my Mom and she didn't answer the phone, I left a message for her to call me. Maybe she was in the bathroom or something. I texted my sister and waited. I wanted to tell my family first before posting it on Facebook and here on my blog. No response. WHERE WAS EVERYONE AT?? I have GOOD news!!!!! So, I called my sister's house. She answered! I asked what she was doing and she said my Mom and stepdad where there. I thought my dad was on the road?! He was home again?? I was happy they were all together, so I said put me on speaker phone, I have some news. She did and I told them, "I got a call from the surgeon's office today about my results. They found NO CANCER in my lymph nodes!" Everyone was VERY happy of course. My Mom kept saying "Are they sure?" One of the happiest days of my life. I will not stop spreading the word about melanoma and the dangers of tanning. I will keep careful watch of myself and my loved ones. It is a blessing that I am clear, but I have an increased risk of it coming back. I will continue my fight and stay a survivor. "Spread the lotion" with me. Indoor tanning increases your risk dramatically! 75%!! That's too much. Melanoma can spread to other organs, it is fast moving. I am lucky and blessed to have found mine early. There are too many young ladies dying and it just breaks my heart. Take care of your skin, it is the only one you get!!!!